How to talk about politics at work

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(Step 0.2: Don’t.)

Step 1: Find people you trust to talk about politics with. Usually, these are people you already agree with, especially now because I don’t believe civility can exist between opposing viewpoints if you care enough to talk about politics these days. Be careful of non-civility. If you encounter non-civility, immediately walk back to your desk and do not engage.

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Step 2: Take advantage of the free bagels in the kitchen. Take a full one instead of a half one if you need to. Go crazy; mix up your schmears. Butter and cream cheese. Blueberry cream cheese on everything bagels. (Just kidding, that’s disgusting I would judge you just saying.)

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Step 3: Start with whatever topic had just risen to the surface. Sometimes that’s the Republican party stuffing in two of their cabinet nominees against the will of the voting party. Sometimes that’s being upset that certain friends and colleagues are stuck overseas. Sometimes that’s that bullshit one-note 6-week maternity leave thing that’s really only going to make employer not hire women even more.

Step 3.5: Shove those carbs in your mouth. Remember to also ingest some form of liquid, like coffee or tea.

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Step 4: Make lots of jokes and laugh without making eye contact.

Step 5: Repeat steps 3-4 until you’ve decided you’ve spent enough time dawdling.

Step 6: Go back to your desks and feel better about at least having someone to hash it out with even if everything else sucks.

Step 7: Probably Twitter but you should also work a bit too.

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